Life – How I Live

_19A7256-Edit

Photo by Linda Marie Stella

Life – is something that I value and never take for granted. I took things for granted when I was younger and more carefree, and when I understood less and had not experienced loss. I value the people who have been good to me; especially when they didn’t even know me. I value people who do what they say they are going to do; and I have a hard time understanding people who never do what they say.

I love and identify with people who work hard whether they are a youth, in my age group or an elder. When the knots in my stomach outweigh the love for what I’m doing… chances are I will leave that situation – that applies to work, relationships and friendships. I love to laugh and have been that way since I was a child. I have endless stories with endless life lessons because I’ve been through a lot. I woke up today with the same thought I do every single day. I open my eyes and I say, “glad I’m still here” and then I give thanks for being able to see another day.

This week 3 of my friends lost a parent. I lost my sister and my mother. I know that loss can change a person. Loss changed me – first it made me depressed, then angry and then it made me realize that our days are not promised and we have to do the best with what we have while we are here. It’s not easy for everyone to get over losing a loved one; it is a process. Those around us can’t really understand grief unless they have also been through it. I have often been there for people who are grieving; because I get it.

I can’t remember the exact day but it was in 2013 I woke up one day and felt like a different person. I was able to really write again and I wrote poetry and finished a few of my scripts. I realized that though I had been living all these years that I was functioning and living while still grieving. I was still a very positive person but something had changed within me. It’s very difficult to explain to other people. So, now here I am continuing to live my life to the fullest. I accept when I cannot do things, I know that I can make plans and in an instant – my circumstances can change. I’ve been there too many times to count. And even though I know life can change in an instant I still write out my goals each spring during a personal retreat. I am still living much of what I wrote down and prayed over. I still have a things to do list and a strategic life and career plan. I have come to realize that I am strong and a source of strength for many people. But, I also have people that I can go to when I need a shoulder or an ear. For those of us chosen to help others; it’s not always easy. We have to always remember to replenish our energy so that we can share it. I am a mentor, and a friend, a supporter, and someone who loves and appreciates life. Through illness, injuries, loss, revelations, speculations, questions, being misunderstood, undervalued, devalued, rejected, and envied… I have lived to tell the tale. Through, support, real friendships, inspiration, faith, humour, living for each day, gratefulness, and love… I have lived to tell the tale.

So, for today I will live and laugh and smile at a stranger. I will cry for my friends but still be there for them. I will brace myself for bad news and be thankful for the good news. I don’t know what today will hold, I only know what happened yesterday. And for today I love and appreciate my life and all of its hardships and all of its beauty. I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I can sure live the heck out of today.

 

Amani

, , ,